Hot Girls Need Many Things
Hot girls need cold weather simply because, physically, their bodies are too warm. They will overheat in temperatures above 80 degrees.
Hot girls need silence. Like, Jesus, can you let a hot girl think? Process the dreams she had about the apocalypse the night before? Write a goddamn paragraph? Plan her entire wedding? Moisturize her face? These things do not require talking. Basically, don’t talk to a hot girl. They don’t need your input. They need to focus.
Hot girls need a bedtime. They need to go to bed by 10 p.m. every night because they have shit to accomplish and that requires sleep, OK?
Hot girls need the volume at a good level but not too loud. When the volume is too loud, it hurts a hot girl’s ears and the film, music, conversation, etc. will no longer bring them joy, which defeats the purpose of the aforementioned activity.
Hot girls need cats. This requires no further explanation.
Hot girls need podcasts that are a good balance between pointless ramblings and meaningful discussion. They do not need podcasts whose hosts interrupt each other frequently as this gives hot girls anxiety. They need the curiosity of Michael Barbaro minus every single “mmm” in response to a point made combined with the comedy of Kate Berlant plus the solid reporting of Martine Powers. That’s the podcast they need. Unfortunately, most podcasts do not meet the current needs of a hot girl.
Hot girls need their short stories accepted to every publication they send them to. Then the hot girl can decide which publication is best for the story. The rejections are not good for a hot girl’s hydration. They have to drink so much more water that it requires a water bottle specifying the time of day at which they should have drunk said amount of water.
Hot girls need everything, and they need nothing. If this is somehow unclear, please just ask your nearest hot girl what they do or do not need and then leave them alone.