37 weeks

& soon to be two universes

I am 37 weeks pregnant and the house is an absolute disaster.

I wake up Sunday morning, determined to check things off lists, but they’re all things I can’t actually do anymore so M would have to do them while I toddle with E.

We play for a couple hours: cuddle his baby doll; make the baby doll an egg (so he will finally eat his breakfast); watch some Curious George (also known as “monkey, monkey!”); and then cuddle in the recliner. He rubs my belly and tells me, “The baby is coming.” “Soon,” I say. “So soon.”

I am drowning in his sweetness.

And less adorably, I am drowning in my inability to do anything without sitting after 15 minutes. The records, by which I mean, the writing, shows I hit this stage a week earlier last time.

M doesn’t get any of the tasks done before I have to kick them out of the house so I can go back to sleep - a very involved dream, already forgotten.

I become convinced this baby is also coming on the early side, like E did - “How could he not?” I think as I screech my way out of bed.

A family friend tells me she’s proud of me - what a strange compliment to give a pregnant person but sometimes, it’s just the right thing.

I am proud of me, too. I am doing this. And I am grateful to be able to give E a sibling, with so much of my motivation coming from my sister being my lifelong best friend.

I look at E and I can’t believe our life. He’s already so much his own person. I get to live in fascination of him. He’s our universe and soon, we will have two universes. And that will be more than enough. <3